


Even If Today Goes by Let's Just Remember the Feeling

by yanasty



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Camping, Confessions, F/M, First Kisses, Fluff, Interactive, OT21 (NCT), Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, but no more than kissing, choose who you end up with, gets a bit frisky at times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:22:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yanasty/pseuds/yanasty
Summary: When you go camping with the whole of NCT and WayV there's about a million ways this story could go. Choose the way it goes for you.[interactive story & multiple endings]
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Reader, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Reader, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Reader, Lee Jeno/Reader, Lee Taeyong/Reader, Mark Lee (NCT)/Reader, NCT Ensemble/Reader, Suh Youngho | Johnny/Reader, Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

“How is it supposed to stand up like this?” Donghyuck asks untrusting of Mark’s manual skills when it comes to setting up a tent. You aren’t sure how much of it is actual concern as opposed to the mere joy of teasing the older and coaxing all these reactions out of him.

“Just hold it right here and I’ll connect the two parts so it won’t fall over,” Mark tries to explain, clearly lacking vocabulary and patience.

“Like this?” Donghyuck tilts his head slightly, holding the pole between his thumb and index finger, adding little to the construction’s structural integrity. Mark’s expression is exasperated and you can’t hold it against him, Donghyuck is pushing his limits.

“Just hold it properly,” he whines and you laugh, making Donghyuck’s head snap in your direction as he sends you a knowing grin but you can’t help feeling sorry for Mark.

“I’m surprised these two lasted this long without committing murder,” Johnny comments, suddenly appearing next to you. “I’d say we’re a breath away from it,” you add, ready to intervene. Johnny puts down a cold box containing what you assumed are drinks or food with a loud thud. Behind him appears an in comparison ridiculously small appearing Ten with another cold box, similarly as heavy as it seems and he lets it down, less gracefully, with an even louder thud.

“Remind me next time to object to doing the donkey work,” he presses out before he plops down to sit on the cold box.

“Be careful not to catch a cystitis, old man,” Donghyuck teases after he reluctantly let you take over assisting Mark in his quest to set up the tent. Ten, already used to this kind of behaviour, only rolls his eyes with a disgusted expression, too tired to get back at the younger.

“Speaking of tents, who’s gonna share with who?” Yuta enquires when he joins the group after observing you two struggling to get the tent to stay up. “Taeyong said we’ll draw lots,” Johnny answers, taking a sip from a can he just opened.

“Why don’t we just choose freely?” Yuta asks clearly disapproving of this whole ordeal. “Because that would be a fucking mess,” Johnny laughs. The idea doesn’t really sit right with him either but this would be the least effort, so they agreed to just leave the decision up to fate.

After Mark and you finish setting up the tent you go to where all the others are gathered because Taeyong seems like he’s trying to huddle everyone together.  
“Since some of the tents are already set up, we’re gonna decide who sleeps where now so there’s no misunderstandings later,” he explains and you can physically see how exhausted he is already. He came up with this trip in the first place so most of the planning got stuck on him. Even though he said Donghyuck helped him, coming from him, there must be a catch. You remain uncorrected when he explains that he collected random items from the people who brought tents and that the others have to draw to determine the sleeping situation. A displeased murmur goes through the people gathered.

“Anyways,” Donghyuck says as he walks up to you and beams, “You’ll start.”  
“Is this seven minutes in heaven or what?” you laugh as he holds out a bag.  
“You’ll get to spend the whole night in heaven,” Donghyuck muses suggestively, at which you grimace before tentatively putting your hand in the bag to feel the different items.

[Wrinkled piece of paper](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997534/chapters/60529705)  
[Piece of metal](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997534/chapters/60531346)  
[Cylindrical plastic object](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997534/chapters/60531427)  
[Metal chain](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997534/chapters/60531475)


	2. Chapter 2

You take out a wrinkled piece of paper and upon unwrinkling it, it turns out to be a receipt. It had Chinese characters on it which narrowed it down to those who recently visited China.“Whose is it?”

“Ah it’s Chenle’s,” Donghyuck offers and you nod.

“You’re lucky, I brought the biggest tent,” Chenle smiles and you’re relieved that fate seemed to be in your favour today. Waiting for the others to draw, it’s Sicheng, Ten, Hendery and Yangyang who would also be joining you for the night. The others are quick to set up the tent under Ten and Chenle’s instruction and you have to admit despite the number of people it really is quite spacious. It’s enough to stand up straight, which couldn’t be said about any of the other tents.

“So what are you guys up to?” Ten asks while everyone sets up their sleeping bags.

“The others said there’s a boulder that looks exactly like Jeno so I’ll definitely go check that out,” Yangyang laughs.

“What, really?” Hendery questions, intrigued and Yangyang nods.

“What about you?” he then returns the question.

“Taeyong wanted to go for a swim. Anyone else care to join?”

“Choosing between a doppelgänger boulder or some lame ass swimming, only a fool would miss out on this golden opportunity,” Hendery turns him down but, in all honesty, Ten isn’t all that disappointed about that.

He looks around in case anyone else could resist this ‘golden opportunity’ only to find you looking at all of them funny. That’s when it dawns on him that they’ve been speaking Chinese all this time when you probably didn’t understand a word.

“Ah sorry, I’ll go swimming with Taeyong. You wanna join?”

[ Not join him ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997534/chapters/60531598)  
[ Join him ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997534/chapters/60531697)


	3. Chapter 3

You get hold of a small, cool object which as you pull it out turns out to be a key. You look up at Donghyuck questioningly.

“So, who’d I get?”

“Oh, that’s Taeil’s key,” Donghyuck announces and continues his way to let everyone draw. When you give Taeil back his key he comes over to you smiling.

“So I have to share a tent with you two lovebirds?” you sigh, teasing mostly Donghyuck.

“People are always jealous of what they can’t have,” Donghyuck says dramatically clasping his heart and laying his head on Taeil’s shoulder.

“Whatever,” you roll your eyes, “We still have to put up the tent, right?”

“And since you already proved how skilled you are in doing that, I’ll leave that up to you,” Donghyuck smiles sweetly and you think this is going to be very difficult.

“Oh no you’re gonna help us,” Taeil orders compassionately when he sees the expression on your face which then quickly changes into a grateful smile.

“No fun,” the younger pouts but moves to take the tent out of its bag because he is a good dongsaeng after all. Of course he doesn’t stop making what he thinks are funny remarks but you can handle it.

It’s a long day full of various activities so it’s only natural for you to be tired as soon as the sun sets. It’s Johnny who jokingly says it’s time for the children to sleep while everyone is gathered around the campfire but when you actually yawn at that it elicits a round of chuckles. You bid them a good night and almost collapse into your sleeping bag, not realising how physically demanding a day of hiking can be. You drift off to sleep thinking about watching the sunrise tomorrow morning.

But you don’t exactly make it through.

In the middle of the night, the sound of a zipper and excruciatingly loud rustling and whispering wake you. Stirring and slightly looking up you realise it’s Taeil and Donghyuck who decided to bless you with their company in what is probably the loudest way possible. Because it’s Donghyuck, you don’t doubt that he might have pulled the zipper harsher than necessary or took longer to nestle into his sleeping bag than the average camper, simply to annoy you.

“Go back to sleep,” he whispers and apologises, making your previous thoughts vanish from your hazy mind. You hum wanting to return to the land of dreams as soon as possible and just as you were about to fall asleep again you hear quiet snoring. It’s not particularly loud, just enough to drive you crazy and keep you from drifting off. You roll onto your back and open your eyes to stare at the ceiling trying to find a solution for your situation.

“Hyung’s a notorious snorer, you should know,” Donghyuck says in a low voice and you can hear him grinning.

“Well thanks for letting me know,” you retort sarcastically, voice still a bit hoarse from sleep, “Of course I had to get the cheeky devil and the snorer.”

“What can I say, you had it coming.”

[ Stay ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997534/chapters/60531769)   
[ Go out for a walk ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997534/chapters/60531880)


	4. Chapter 4

“Lip balm?” you say more to yourself than a proper question and suddenly you ask yourself who has the nicest lips, which is a totally inappropriate question but it turns out to be Jeno’s lip balm.

“You have a tent?” you ask him as you return his lip balm.

“Yeah he’s a real outdoorsman,” Jaemin chimes in from beside him and you chuckle.

“We should have no problems setting this tent up, then?” you question and Jeno smiles sheepishly.

“We’ll see about that.”

Eventually setting it up doesn’t take as long as you’d expected, given that your competition isn’t even worth calling it that. Lucas, Yangyang, Xiaojun and Hendery are still struggling when dinner time rolls around.

“We should go hiking,” Jaemin announces over the munching of food.

“Right after dinner?” Renjun asks, unenthused.

“No, when it’s completely dark,” he grins.

“Like a night hike?” Jisung enquires, mouth full of bread and only barely intelligible but Jaemin nods. “Yeah like that. What do you think?”

“I’m in,” Donghyuck exclaims, echoed by Jeno, Chenle and Jisung. Renjun doesn’t seem quite as sure but you know he’ll eventually agree since peer pressure among the dreamies is crucial. As expected he gives in and suddenly everyone is looking at you.

“I dunno,” you admit truthfully. You’re a bit scared you’ll make a fool out of yourself since you’re easily startled.

“Come on! You have to come along,” Donghyuck whines and you know it’s only because he wants to see you suffer.

[ Stay at the campsite ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997534/chapters/60531958)   
[ Go on the night hike ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997534/chapters/60532423)


	5. Chapter 5

You feel something like a chain and more out of curiosity than thought or strategy you pull it out. It’s a bracelet you recognise to be Doyoung’s. Mark also pulls Doyoung so it would be the three of you tonight.

Setting up all the other tents and preparing lunch for so many people takes surprisingly long, so there’s not much time to do anything but explore the area around the campsite, you even went on a short hike up the mountain with Jeno and Renjun to see how far you could get, which turns out to be not really far. When you get back the sun is already low and you have to prepare dinner.

You’re all gathered around the campfire almost done eating and that’s when Kun realises they didn't bring enough water to last for another few days because they focused too much on bringing a sufficient amount of food.

“We can just drink from the lake, can’t we?” Jaemin suggests and there’s a moment of silence where everyone looks at him weird.

“Do you want to drink from the lake?” Jisung asks him, sounding concerned.

“Sure, why not,” he replies with little confidence.

“No, you don’t. It's a stupid idea,” Jeno cackles.

“It’s okay, I’ll just look for the next convenience store and buy some more water,” Johnny offers and everyone agrees.

[ Go along and help Johnny ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997534/chapters/60532618)   
[ Stay at the campfire ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997534/chapters/60532708)


	6. Loving the Way You Wanna Talk

As it turns out fate might not have been in your favour after all since your tent mates keep slipping into Chinese when it’s nighttime and you’re hanging out in your tent. In theory, you don’t mind it because they are clearly more comfortable speaking Chinese but there’s something dejecting about not understanding their jokes. They’re constantly laughing and you laugh along because it’s just so infectious but you miss the punchlines. Chenle helps you, occasionally translates but it’s not the same. You still smile because they are all so happy and you wished you could be part of that.

“Guys, I’ll go out and get some fresh air for a moment,” you excuse yourself as you stand up and leave the tent into the surprisingly cool darkness of the night. You didn’t realise it’s already this late but the campfire is still burning so like a moth drawn to light you sit down on a log by the fire. You stare at it intently, enjoying the sound of crackling and the warmth with which the sight alone fills you.

“Are you okay?” You suddenly hear a voice, not knowing how much time has passed. It’s Sicheng who sits down beside you and looks at you as if he’d done something wrong. Your heart swells at the sight.

“Yeah sure, it’s just weird not knowing what you guys laugh about most of the time,” you smile weakly.

“It sometimes doesn’t even make sense in Chinese… I’m sorry, we can’t help it,” he still looks apologetic and you just want to wash that expression off his face. You never wanted to bail on them like that but you had to clear your mind after being bombarded with so much conversation you don’t understand.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s only natural,” you smile at him, “I’m sorry I don’t know Chinese.”

“I can teach you if you want,” he suggests, a faint smile growing on his face.

“I’d love that,” you reply quietly, also smiling.

“Okay repeat after me,” he grins, “Wǒ xǐ huān nǐ.”

You try to mimic the way the words roll off his tongue so beautifully and if his expression is anything to go by you succeed because he laughs happily. He says it again this time more seriously and again you echo his words.

“What does it mean?”

“I like you,” he supplies, a sly smile on his lips and suddenly the campfire feels scorching against your skin. At first you’re not sure whether this is a confession or if that simply happens to be the first phrase he can think of or if your mind plays tricks on you but seeing anticipation as well as amusement glimmering in his eyes, you probably heard correctly.

“Me?” you press out eloquently for lack of words or even coherent thoughts, an incredulous expression plastered on your face. He chuckles, half amused, half nervous and you get goosebumps at the sound and the way his shoulder bumps yours in the process.

“Yes, you,” he clarifies, laughing but it still doesn’t feel real. You quickly look down at your hands, contemplating what this confession means. But that makes you feel like your head is spinning so you raise your eyes to look at him again, your mouth hanging open with a thousand words burning on the tip of your tongue but none of them ever leave the confines of your head. He bites his lip when the tension rises and you feel it too. You suck in a breath when you slowly turn to him and subtly lean in closer, cautious, because this still seems surreal. Suddenly his hand comes up to hold your face and guides it to his. You don’t resist, of course you don’t and when your lips meet your heart beats so fast you think you might pass out.

His touch is delicate, careful, maybe even shy and you love every part of it. The way he moves his lips against yours, the way his hands cradle your face, the way he grins into the kiss, the way his fingers caress your skin, it's all too much for you. You wonder whether he can feel that your skin is on fire, whether he knows he’s the reason for it.

He doesn’t let go of you when your lips part, one hand now on the side of your neck, alternating between stroking your skin and playing with your hair and you think it’s crazy that it’s Sicheng doing it. You open your eyes and you say it again. You bask in the way he doesn't even try to conceal the smile on his face when he places another kiss on your lips.


	7. You’re My Antidote

“Sure,” you smile, “Is the lake far?”

“I don't think so. Maybe about a ten minute walk.”

“Okay, cool. I’ll just get my stuff.”

“Meet us at Taeyong’s tent,” he says while leaving.

You’re joined by Johnny, Jungwoo and Doyoung and the walk turns out to be more like 20 minutes but you don’t really mind since there’s nice chatter along the way.

When the lake finally comes into sight, Jungwoo is the first one to rid himself of his clothes down to his swimming trunks and run along the jetty to put one toe in the water and test its temperature. Contrasting his initial enthusiasm he turns around to the others to shout how cold it is and you have to laugh.

“It can’t be that cold,” Doyoung says as he and Johnny approach the jetty. Unassuming, Jungwoo turns away, insisting it definitely was that cold while demonstratively plunging his foot back in, only for Johnny to come up behind him and push him into the water in one swift motion. Taeyong and you gasp before you join the other’s laughter.

“That was mean!” Jungwoo yells as soon as his head emerges. He’s quick to act on his revenge though as he pulls Johnny from the edge of the jetty into the lake with him. Doyoung grins and goes to the other side of the platform to avoid the two trouble makers. When you take off your dress you notice that Taeyong is sitting on a towel spread out over the grass.

“Don’t you wanna join them?”

“I’m just waiting for their zest to die down so I can swim in peace,” he laughs.

“I’m not sure that’s gonna happen soon,” you laugh, too, “You really like swimming, huh?”

“Yeah, why do you ask?” 

“It takes a lot of fondness to bring up that kinda patience,” you shrug as you sit down next to him and it’s ironic for you to say that because here you are in love with Lee Taeyong, mistaking fear for patience. There’s silence for a moment, the irrational fear of him somehow being able to know your thoughts speeding up your heartbeat.

“Wow that’s deep,” he comments and you laugh, relieved.

“Nevermind.”

“No, you’re right, I do enjoy it a lot,” he admits.

“I’m glad you’re getting something out of this trip. I mean, apart from the shitload of work,” you jest but you mean it. He deserves relaxation just as much as everyone else, if not even more.

“It’s nothing, really, I like taking care of others,” he professes but you already know. He's a giver and you sometimes worry he’s giving too much.  
“I just hope you also get to rest,” you sigh.

“Don’t worry about me,” he says but you still do. The conversation between you flows nicely, as it does between you two, even if what you talk about is trivial and insignificant. You want to know everything that is on his mind, what worries him, brings him joy, makes his heart race (in hopes that it might be you).

Suddenly he gets up, heading for the lake and you watch him a while. For a moment you forget you’re not just the passive spectator of a movie. That is until he turns around to look at you in question and it catches you off guard since your mind was miles away. You hate how easily you get lost when you think about him and it’s weird how he can be so far away when he’s right there beside you. “Not coming?”

It’s a reasonable thing to ask so how did his simple question make the hairs on your neck stand up, thinking about him looking out for you, maybe even wanting you to be with him, by his side. You’re crazy to think it and you know that but he just makes you feel that way. As soon as your brain starts working again you stand up to move closer to him, almost out of instinct, as if the physical distance took away part of yourself.

You opt for the bank of the lake as a safer way in than the jetty and he’s by your side without a word but soon overtakes you, wading into deeper water with big steps.

“Jungwoo was right, it’s kinda freezing,” you say and he laughs at you, reaching out a hand to guide you in. A gesture that, logically speaking, doesn’t really make it easier but you appreciate it. When he pulls you so that you’re in the water up to your thighs you call out for him to slow down because your body craves the warmth of the sun rays rather than the cold of the water but he continues dragging you and you let him. In a spurt of daring you make three big steps until you’re emerged to your shoulders and the goosebumps on your skin are almost violent so you do the only rational thing your brain could come up with, which is pulling Taeyong close, letting go of his hand and wrapping your arms around his waist to ponce off his warmth.

The panic sets in a little later but when his hands come down on your shoulders and his chest erupts in laughter you heave a sigh of relief and look up at him. “It’s not that cold,” he grins down at you.

“It is!” you insist practically shoving your arm in his face to show him the goosebumps but he just laughs and pats you on the head. You try to pout but you can’t suppress the smile. As an escape you bend your knees so your head dips beneath the surface of the water before emerging again. He’s still watching you and you’re grinning like an idiot before the two of you start to swim.

Taeyong joins the other’s for a bit but flees after realising they’re trying to push each other underwater. It’s silly and probably dangerous but you can see how much they’re enjoying themselves so you quietly smile to yourself and go back to just floating at a safe distance from the ruckus. You don’t know how much time passes but when you go back to swimming you see that Doyoung and Jungwoo are lying on the jetty, sunbathing while Johnny is taking pictures of the lake. You throw him a peace sign which he fortunately spots before you start to drown. You suddenly hear the sweet ring Taeyong’s laughter and he mimics your movement when Johnny takes your picture.

“You good?” he asks and you just nod, trying to keep your head above water. “You looked really peaceful there.”  
“You should try it, too,” you smile, “Just float and forget all your troubles.” You watch him when he relaxes and lets the lake take him and there’s so much fondness inside of your chest you feel like you might burst any second. You also go back to floating mindlessly on the surface of the water, looking up at the bright blue sky and again time doesn’t seem to exist.

Until there’s a whistling sound, loud enough to make you flinch and accidentally swallow a mouthful of lakewater.  
“We’re going back to the campsite!” Johnny yells from the banksite.

“We’re coming in a bit!” Taeyong shouts back after assuring you’re okay and Johnny sends him a thumbs up.  
“You’re in no hurry, right?” he then asks and you shake your head. “Good,” he grins and you don’t know what the implication is in that, but if he’s glad, so are you.

You later end up sitting on the jetty, watching Taeyong while your feet splash around in the rhythm of your frantic heart. There’s something calming about simply looking at him and you know you wouldn’t grow bored observing him do anything because he gives everything his all and you admire him for that and you resent him because you want him to give you more.

He joins you after a while and you splash some water in his direction when he approaches, knowing it’s not really him you resent but yourself, because you can’t bring up the courage to gamble with something so precious to you. He laughs and tells you to stop, which you do so he can sit down beside you.   
“You did well today, Taeyong. The boys are really loving this trip,” you say bumping your knee against Taeyong’s.

A breathtaking smile grazes his features and you honestly need someone to pinch you right now because it’s hard to believe that the person next to you is real.  
“Thank you, I was worried it was gonna end in a disaster,” he laughs scratching the back of his neck.  
“Aw don’t say that,” you object.

“You know the boys,” he argues.

“Yeah but that’s on them. You did perfect.”

“Thanks for saying that,” he utters in a quiet voice and it almost kills you. When he looks up at you with big eyes, you send him a reassuring smile. It’s times like this, he thinks, when he can’t imagine what his life would be like without having you. When you say things like that, the cheerfulness in your voice tempts Taeyong to think it’s nothing but the truth.

He didn’t plan to kiss you right then and there. He’s thought about it plenty of times, you have too, but the thought of actually doing it never crossed his mind, tucked away safely in the deepest crevice of his brain.

But the way you look at him, the way you see him makes him feel like he could do anything just because you’re there, by his side to cheer him on. That’s what gets to him, what speeds up his heartbeat, sets his skin aflame and makes him come alive.

He gives you enough time to pull back, to stop this from happening but you’re frozen in anticipation, heartbeat quickening and hands shaking. You know what’s going to happen but when his lips touch yours softly it sends bolts of electricity through your body which nothing could have ever prepared you for. It’s too much for you yet you crave more. You think yourself crazy when you realise this is all it took for him to tear you to pieces and when he pulls back slowly you almost follow him because you don’t want this to end but your mind is spinning and you’re still frozen on the spot.

As you open your eyes you don’t even remember closing, you expect the world around you to be spinning too but the stillness of your surroundings is sobering. It’s just you and Taeyong as his stare lies on you heavily. His expression is surprised, mouth slightly agape as if he too has trouble processing recent events and you can’t help staring at his lips whose touch still burns upon yours. Suddenly your face burns and you feel overcome by the sudden urge to laugh, which feels horribly inappropriate, so you try to hide your face in your hands.

Taeyong, startled by your outburst, thinks you’re crying for a second, panic written all over his face when he starts apologising profusely but despite the sensory overload and the speed at which your brain is rattling you’re quick to shush him, still embarrassed.

“Why would you apologise?” you whine, showing him your smile and he lets out a sigh of relief.

“I don’t know! I thought I upset you or something,” he laughs nervously.

“No! I-” you stutter, “Thank you!” He looks stunned and you could’ve hit yourself at how dumb you made yourself seem. 

“Uhm, you too?” he returns and you giggle again, looking away. 

“We should head back,” you burst out when the tension feels unbearable and he agrees immediately. You can’t quite wrap your head around what is happening so you grasp his hand in search for security. You walk back to the campsite holding hands and finally saying out loud what you feared so much.


	8. I Can't Figure You Out

“Why are you like this?” you ask when you roll onto your side to face him, lying on his back, head propped up on one arm. He looks at you too.  
“Like what?” You caught him off guard. The tone of his voice makes you think you might have broken his shell and you smile.

“I don’t know, kinda mean,” you provoke, teasing smile, looking him straight in the eye through the dim light.

“C’mon I’m not mean, I’m a comedian. Besides, you don’t even take me seriously,” he chuckles, having gained back his mischievous tone toward the end.

“I take you very seriously,” you tease but still mean it, you realise. He laughs it off.

“How come you’re babying Mark so much these days,” he enquires and you can hear how he tries to sound nonchalant about it but the timing and setting already rule out that option.

“You tease him all the fucking time, he needs someone on his side,” you argued, grinning at how much Donghyuck likes to annoy him but also at how willing Mark seems to give reactions.

“Can’t you be on my side?” he sighs and regrets it before he even finishes his sentence. He quickly looks away and that’s it. That’s Donghyuck. Not someone he tries to be, not someone people expect him to be, but who he is.

Your heart pounds, blood rushes to your head, you feel light-headed and you’re still sleepdrunk but you just have to do it when he lies there so open, so vulnerable, you just have to get under his skin before he locks you out again.

You reach out and lay your hand on his atop his stomach.

“I’m on your side,” you whisper, barely audible but he hears you, every syllable drips slow and sticky and sweet like honey and he feels like he’s drunk. You’re aware of his stomach rising with every quick breath he takes and you intertwine your fingers. He lets you but doesn’t let himself give in to squeezing your hand and holding onto it for dear life like he wants to.

You don’t know if he gets it. That holding his hand like this carries the meaning of a thousand words you don’t dare to say out loud. You don’t know if he understands. If he could understand the way he makes you feel when you look at him. When you stare at him whenever he thinks nobody’s watching and how that is your favourite. It’s not like he never catches you but he still doesn’t seem to get it and you think it's ironic how someone so witty, so observant and so perceptive could be so dense at the same time.

It’s a force that pulls you to him, always has. You don't miss the way his breath hitches when your touch suddenly slips away from him, leaving his hand cold and burning at once. He doesn’t anticipate what happens next, his gaze forced away from you or else he might melt away at your radiance and he thinks it’s funny how people literally call him full sun when you shine so much brighter in his eyes.

The crinkling of your sleeping bag gives away your movement and still, he could not have expected what happens. Hoped for it to happen. Wished it in his head. But when he feels you moving closer he’s about sure this is a fever dream. He looks at you and he knows he’s done for, never able to lift his eyes off of you again, not when you look like that, hair unkempt with a gaze that sees right through him, that leaves him completely and utterly at your mercy.

Your eyes silently ask for him and he swallows. He hasn't said anything in what was an uncharacteristically long amount of time for him and he can still feel every word, every fleeting thought die on his tongue right there when you look at him like that. When he finally nods you don’t miss a beat as you press your lips onto his, sealing the silent agreement between the two of you.

His hand, the one you held, comes up to cup your face, pulling you closer and he frees his other hand to cradle your face and take you with him when his head sinks down on his pillow. You follow, hooked, not ready to release his lips when they lie upon yours so deliciously. He moves his lips slowly trying to memorise the way yours fit so snugly upon his own. Your hands come down on his chest to hold yourself up and you can practically feel his heart hammering against his ribcage in unison with your pulse that beats in your ears and you’re connected.

You think you could stay like this forever, feel like you could live without oxygen as long as you are connected. Of course that’s nonsense but when you pull away to suck in the air you’re ready to dive in again, like a starved man on a feast. He is a feast, Donghyuck. You want to taste him, to delve into him and break him apart piece by piece, own all of him.

But this is neither the place nor the time for that, you realise, slowly coming to your senses that were flooded with him and him alone. Taeil moves in his sleep, the sound of which pulls you back into the here and now. Breathless you look down at him, disheveled, hungry and absolutely gone. You hope that your face mirrors his, shows him what words are incapable of capturing.

The way he looks at you almost makes you fall again, his eyes pull you in but you resist, for a better time, a better place to dismantle him. Your head sinks down on his shoulder as his arm wraps around you as if you are meant to rest like this. The two of you are still breathing heavily, heads spinning, thoughts so loud that not even Taeil’s snoring could distract you.


	9. Can’t Think of an Excuse for this Chance Encounter

”I think I’ll go for a walk. It’s not like I could sleep anyways,” you murmur and get up, putting on a hoodie. Donghyuck only grumbles something incomprehensible, half-asleep.

Out in the wild you can see that some tents still have their lights on and you wonder if whoever is in there is still awake or if there’s someone who can’t fall asleep when it’s dark. You let your feet carry you aimlessly when you ponder over how you can fall asleep with Taeil around but your thoughts are interrupted when you hear the rustling of leaves and branches snapping. You let out a yelp and quickly look for a stick or anything you could weaponise in case some wild animal is trying to kill you.

Suddenly, you see a big dark frame emerging from the bushes and you’re ready to run before you realise it looks like a person.  
“Hello? Is someone there?” you hear a deep familiar voice and you feel like an idiot.

“Lucas? What the fuck?” you swear and you would be lying if you said you don’t want to smack him with the stick clasped in your hand.  
“Oh, it’s you!” he exclaims happily.

“Yeah, it’s me,” you huff and he immediately picks up on your tone.

“Sorry, did I scare you?” you don’t need to see him properly to know he probably looks at you with those big bright eyes and you wonder how he does it because you can never stay mad at him.

“It’s my fault for wandering around here in the dark,” you sigh, “Come to speak of it, what are you doing out here?”

“Oh, I was just taking a piss,” he replies coarsely and you wonder, again, how he can just say stuff like that and what he expects people to answer.  
“Can’t sleep?” he asks when you don’t reply.

“Taeil snores,” you explain curtly and he hums in acknowledgement.

“So you escaped?”

“Yeah kinda, for now at least,” you laugh, already dreading a sleepless night.

“The tent Chenle brought is really big, you can crash at our’s if you want to,” he offers and you smile, thanking him.  
“Oh, what would you do without me?” he questions, chuckling.

“Guess you’re my saviour,” you muse, trying to sound sarcastic but somehow you feel like you’re not really joking.

“Everyone in my tent’s already knocked out though, so it’s kinda boring,” he explains and in the dim light you can see him look apologetic even if he has no reason to do so.

“It’s okay, we can stay out here for a bit. I wanted to look at the stars here because there’s no street lamps or neon signs and stuff like that and I hoped to see them,” you ramble but Lucas is glued to every single word you utter.

“But there’s trees everywhere,” he comments when he looks up to inspect the sky.

“Yeah, you up for a walk?” you grin and he mirrors your expression, making your smile grow even wider after you turn away. You don’t have to walk long until you reach the lake that’s supposed to be nearby and you’re overwhelmed by how beautiful and completely untouched and calm it looks. You are about to say something when you hear Lucas’ stomach growl and you have to laugh. He is unreal.

“I have a chocolate bar if you want it,” you giggle, taking it out of the front pocket of your hoodie and offering it to him.

“Why’d you bring a chocolate bar here?”

“I dunno, just in case,” you mumble.

“In case of what?” he mocks, laughing but he takes it from you anyway.

“I don’t know, if I’m left high and dry,” you argue, slightly pouting and he thinks you’re adorable.

“I see, you came prepared,” he hums, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“This is so random,” he utters over the rustling of the wrapper as he struggles to open the candy.

“I’m sorry,” you apologise more out of habit than being genuinely sorry for anything.

“No, it’s cool. I like it,” he says, taking a big bite of the treat. You don’t exactly know what he means when he says that but your heart jumps at his words and the smile he bestows you. You look up at the sky to see a few stars, less than you expected but they’re breathtaking nonetheless.

After observing the sky for a while you turn to look at him but instead of looking up like you did before you see his eyes fixed on you and your whole body suddenly feels hot. You don’t really know what to say but you feel like you have to do something so you just laugh nervously and look away.

“You know, you’re really beautiful,” he breaks the silence and you almost choke on your own spit. He is very straightforward, you’re aware. You know that but he still manages to catch you off guard so many times and you hate and secretly admire him for that.

“Thanks?” you question, unsure of how you’re supposed to handle a compliment like this and he lets out the most hearty laughter you’ve heard in a while.

“You’re adorable,” he giggles and it puts you in the same spot as earlier.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Saying all these things,” you mumble, casting your glance away again.

“Why?” he grins and you’re in awe at how he can find this amusing.

“You- you can’t just go around and say stuff like that and not expect people to fall in love with you,” you whine, your hands gesturing for emphasis because you have enough of him playing with you and turning you into a mess. Then you realise what you said.

“In love with me?” he repeats dumbly and you know he does it to tease you and to your dismay you comply and award him the reaction he probably anticipated, which consisted of whining his name.

“Hey, look at me,” he orders, voice soft but stern when he tilts up your head by your chin like they do in movies and he sends your head spinning. “I might be a bit head over heels for you, too.” 

You forgot how to breathe but when he finishes, the air you don’t know you were holding in floods out of your lungs and with it all the fear as a grin forms on your lips.

“I didn’t say I’m head over heels for you,” you quip because you just had to get back at him and he smiles broadly at that. He doesn’t even take the chance to mock you but instead bends down and places his lips upon yours. It’s short and sweet and he tastes of chocolate.

You walk back to the campsite, hands intertwined, sporting the biggest smiles and you fall asleep in his arms.


	10. I Need You Right Here

Saying no to the dreamies turns out to be easier said than done but after insisting they eventually give up on dragging you along. You love the dreamies but being around them can be exhausting and you just want to rest for the day. You’re grateful when you get to lie down in your sleeping bag, Doyoung quietly tapping away at his phone.

“That can’t possibly be comfortable,” he comments on your current sleeping position. Despite being very tired you’re having trouble falling asleep and your mind doesn’t settle, which might or might not be caused by Doyoung’s presence.

“Mind your own business,” you huff, even if he has a point. You couldn’t sleep like this.

“Why didn’t you join Jeno and the others?” he suddenly asks.

“Jeno and the others? Is he their leader or what?”

“I dunno, I figured you liked him,” he reasons but it’s the last thing you expect him to say.

“What? No way,” you deny without having to think twice, “I didn't go because they just want to make fun of me.” There’s a moment of silence and you grow a bit concerned when there’s no follow-up so you turn to your other side to look at him staring down at his phone with a thoughtful expression.

“Do you want to be with Jeno? Am I not good enough as company?” you tease in an attempt to ease the mood and you manage to coax a chuckle out of him.

“You’re fine, apart from your weird attempt at acrobatics,” he jokes and you pout when he looks at you.

“I don’t sleep well in places that aren’t my bed,” you sulk and he chuckles again.

“Oh, poor you,” he feigns compassion but he makes you smile anyways and you feel giddy.

“What are you watching?” you ask when you notice he’s wearing earbuds.

“A movie netflix recommended. It’s not really good though,” he warns.

“Put it on speaker,” you order while you move to sit next to him, ultimately giving up your plans to go to sleep early tonight. He doesn’t say anything but does as he’s told, which strikes you as odd but you aren’t gonna complain if Doyoung refrains from teasing you for once. He was right though because the acting in this movie really pulls you out of the story if it’s any good so you make it your mission to make fun of their awkward intonation.

You don’t know why you do it but when nothing funny happens for a while you lay your head on Doyoung’s shoulder. It’s a bold move for you, seeing how you haven’t even come to terms with your feelings for him but you get the feeling that he’s upset somehow and you really want to mend whatever is going on with him. Your head rests upon his shoulder until the credits start rolling, heart beating in your ears at the proximity and the way he doesn’t even acknowledge your efforts.

“Are you okay?” you try carefully after you pull back, “If I did anything to upset you, I’m sorry.” His expression is incredulous, as if you’re crazy to even think you have to apologise for one of his moods and he asks himself if you are for real and how anyone could keep themselves from falling head over heels for you as soon as they catch sight of you and he almost says it out loud, too.

“No, no, no I’m- you’re just-” he stammers, embarrassed that he can’t find it in himself to tell you the truth. He also can’t come up with an excuse and he feels so utterly lost.

“Me?” you ask quietly and the look on your face absolutely kills him. He wants to wash away all of your worries but instead he makes you look guilty like that. He hates himself because he just wants to make you feel good but can’t even manage to do that. He acts out of distress, because he’s swamped and doesn’t know what else to do so he just kisses you.

He catches you off-guard so you’re frozen in shock at first but when it dawns on you that the person you’ve liked longer than you’d care to admit is kissing you, you don’t waste time reciprocating and you can literally feel the tension leaving his body as if your response is all he ever needed. You hold his face in your slightly trembling hands and he thinks he might pass out because of it.

Your position is a bit awkward though, because you’re sitting side by side so you waste no time and no worry sitting down on his lap. He’s surprised, you yourself are, but his arms wrap around you naturally as if you were the part he’s missing. He holds you close, tight grip around your waist and you feel like you belong right here in his arms.

You kiss for what feels like an eternity but you never grow tired. You want it to go on forever, want to feel his lips, his hands, his body, want to run your fingers through his hair and caress every part of his skin that is exposed to you. You want to stop time, want him to stay right here forever.

Everything happens in a blur but when he presses down on that one spot between your shoulder blades you can’t keep yourself from moaning into the kiss. He then proceeds to smooth over that exact spot as if to say sorry while secretly trying to remember it for later and it drives you crazy. Your hands are in his hair tugging slightly here and there and when you caress the skin of his nape goosebumps spread over his whole body. He doesn’t know how you do it, make him feel so lost but so secure in the same breath. You confuse him but it’s delicious and he doesn’t want to stop.

When you pull back for air you proceed by trailing kisses down the side of his face until you reach his neck and he cradles you, afraid that what you have was delicate enough to break at any second. You previously weren’t aware of how much you long for him, for his touch, his affection and it feels like you’re dreaming. Your hand slips from his shoulder onto his chest urging him to lie down and you follow suit, reconnecting your lips again.

His hands run down your back and leave you to come down again on the backs of your thighs. He doesn't know how he could have missed a detail like that but since you’re wearing shorts to sleep his hands come into contact with your naked skin and it feels so hot to his touch when he fondles your thighs like a treasure.

“We have to stop,” he whispers breathless when you’re sucking at his neck again.

“Why?” you hum and your willingness alone could be enough to convince him but this wasn’t the right place. He lets out something dangerously close to a whine and you would have never thought you could elicit a sound like that. You lift your head so you can take a good look at him, hair dishevelled and lips swollen from all the kissing. He looks tempting and he almost tempts you again.

“We can’t do this here,” he sighs and you can practically hear the amount of willpower he has to muster up to not succumb to his desires and go for it. But you agree, Jeno could come back any second and it’s not like a tent offers a whole lot of privacy anyways.

You smile at him, try to show him how happy he makes you before you lie down next to him and take his hand.


	11. Hold My Hand Tightly and Don’t Let Go

Everyone is weirdly excited for this trip so when you agree you’re not sure it’s the right decision but you won’t be getting out of it anymore. It's about ten o'clock when Jaemin decides it's dark enough to set out for your night hike. He’s oddly enthusiastic about it too, which makes you wary. But it’s a nice idea in theory and you’re positive someone has to do something stupid and you might as well be there for it.

“Hey how about we go this way?” Jaemin suggests as if on cue and you ask yourself if this boy has a death wish.

“It’s not the main path though,” Jisung interjects, unsettled by his proposition.

“Are we gonna find our way back?” Jeno voices his concerns, similarly fazed.

“Of course! It’s not like we’re stupid,” Donghyuck says leading the way down Jaemin’s alternative route.

“At least some of us,” Renjun mumbles under his breath, making you laugh. You mostly stick to Renjun and Jeno because they currently seem like the most sane people out of the bunch. But Renjun soon feels overcome with an urge to monitor the others in an attempt to keep anything bad from happening, leaving you in Jeno’s company, which you don’t mind at all.

“There’s a stream here? How far from the campsite have we gone?” you think out loud.

“It was there too when we came here, wasn’t it?” Jeno replies.

“Really? I don’t remember.”

“That’s because you slept the whole ride.” You don’t need light to know exactly that he just rolled his eyes at you but you can’t be bothered, instead you feel your hands get a bit clammy at the thought of Jeno keeping an eye out for you.

“I slept so that I can be wide awake right now,” you try and hear him chuckle.

“Be careful not to fall in it,” Jeno teases, slightly pushing you in the general direction of the stream’s gurgling and you reflexively grip onto his arm.   
“You’re an asshole,” you curse and he has the audacity to laugh at you.

It’s quiet for a moment after that which is when you realise it’s been quiet for a while now and that’s not usually how the dreamies operate. You whip your head around hoping to catch sight of anyone around you and Jeno does the same when he realises he can’t hear the other’s voices anymore.

“This is not good,” you point out the obvious.

“Not really,” is Jeno’s answer when he turns off his flashlight to see if he can at least catch sight of any other lights in the distance but to no avail.

“Okay, so do you remember where we came from?” you ask, desperately trying to remember yourself but failing to form a coherent thought, troubled by the prospect of having to spend the night in the woods.

“Definitely that way,” he says with a certainty that calms you a bit when you proceed.

“This absolutely had to happen, I should’ve known,” you groan. It’s not like you’re that afraid, not with Jeno here, it’s just something inherently eerie about wandering the woods at night and a situation you would have loved to avoid.

“It’s not that bad,” Jeno tries to appease. Even though he doesn’t exactly sound convincing, you still appreciate the effort.

Suddenly the flashlight starts to flicker until the light completely dies out, leaving the two of you engulfed in nothing but darkness and sombre moonlight.  
“Don’t freak out,” he implores before you even say anything.

“You do realise this is the start of like every horror movie?” you complain and he sighs.

“We’ll be fine. Let’s go,” he urges and starts walking again. Trying to keep up with his steps you follow the big black blotch which is all you can make out of him in the darkness.

“Wait for me. I can't even see where I’m going,” you whine because the one thing worse than getting lost here with Jeno would be being left alone. You know your sense of direction would lead you directly into the arms of a bear or something. Instinctively you reach out for him until you feel fabric.  
“Please tell me that’s you,” he quips, making you laugh.

“Yes, Jeno,” you giggle taking hold of his sweater’s sleeve so he can't accidentally leave you behind.

You don’t exactly know what happens but there’s an abrupt cracking noise next to you and all you know is that your hand is suddenly clinging onto his and you're pressed to his side. Once you get over the shock you retreat but you don’t let go of his hand. Instead of teasing you or addressing anything that is happening he just gives you a reassuring squeeze you don’t know you need.

Terrified but oddly content you make your way through the forest, fingers intertwined and heartbeat quickening, until you reach a glade. No trees can hinder the moonlight from illuminating Jeno’s face anymore and when you look at his profile your body automatically halts. Since he’s still holding your hand he notices and turns to eye you, confused as to why you stopped but he’s not prepared to see you gazing at him like that.

There’s something about the darkness before that made everything seem surreal and far removed but being able to see the other like that is sobering, makes it real.

You’re still looking at him like there’s nothing else but him. As if you actually came here to see him, as if weren’t currently lost and trying to find your way back, as if this is how it was meant to go and he almost forgets you’re lost and supposed to get back.

“You good?” he asks to drown out the thoughts rampaging in his head right now and it yanks you out of your daze as well.

“I mean, yeah, it’s just-” you begin but you don’t know where you’re going, startled and embarrassed. You know you like Jeno more than you like any of your other friends but it’s not like it has ever crossed your mind to do anything about it. What you have is great, anyways. But in this particular instant you just can’t stifle your longing for more. Holding his hand gave you a taste of all the affections you used to deny until now and you fall, wondering how you could even make it without his touch.

“I really want to kiss you right now,” you whisper, quickly and he almost misses it but he couldn’t when you’re saying something like that. The look on his face is shocked for a moment, yours is too, before a smile spreads across his lips and your heart tightens at the sight.

“You’re cute,” he says, giving your hand a squeeze before he lets go in order to cup your face with both of his big, warm hands to guide your lips to his. It’s as if he had been waiting for it.

Everything happens before your brain can even process what you confessed to him and suddenly your knees are weak. You hope they don’t give in because you want to stay close, get even closer.

He runs his hands down the sides of your face and neck and over your shoulders, leaving you on fire where he touched your bare skin. You think it’s torture so your hands come up to pull his face closer in return, making him drop his hands down to your waist when he finally kisses you. His touch is feather light as if he’s testing the waters. You can barely feel his hands or his lips but you want to feel it, want him to imprint his hands on your body so you can replay the memory again and again.

You lock your hands behind his head so your body is pressed flush against his and he finally tightens the grasp he has on your waist. He runs his hands up your back and down again and you almost melt at how good he makes you feel. Your lips move tentatively at first but you warm up to each other quickly, lips growing more hungry and hands growing more eager by the second. Every touch doesn’t still the craving but elicits more yearning and it’s all too much so you sigh into the kiss, which makes him grin. To your dismay he pulls back a bit. He wants to take in how you look because of him, cheeks flushed, lips scarlet and innocent eyes gazing up at him and he can’t bear to behold it anymore because he just has to feel your lips again.

Your hands begin to wander and you play with the hem of his shirt without thinking but his hands dive beneath your hoodie in response, making you shiver because his hands are a bit cold compared to your skin that is currently on fire and you wonder if his hands have run cold or your body has heated up. You gasp and hold onto his shoulders because you feel like you would collapse any second.

“Guys what the fuck?” a sudden voice exclaimed and you’re blinded by a light directly aimed at your face when you open your eyes. The two of you separate in an instant and Jeno almost trips at how hard you push him away. You recognise the other dreamies and your face blushes even more than it already is.

“I told you we should take Renjun!” Donghyuck exclaims annoyed, at which Renjun punches his arm, clearly offended.

“What?” Jeno asks because he doesn’t understand what’s going on and neither do you.

“They wanted you to get lost so they can scare you,” Jisungs gives the explanation you’re waiting for and you understand how the way they found the two of you might have diverged from their expectation.

“They? You’re with us right now, aren’t you?” Jaemin chimes in and the usual dreamie banter starts anew.

“Are you okay?” you ask Jeno, putting a hand on his shoulder. You feel bad for pushing him so hard but you didn’t do it on purpose. He just nods and gives you his signature smile. That’s when the attention is on you again.

“So, are you two hooking up or what?” Chenle busts through the silence and you wonder where he learned that expression.

“Shut up,” Jeno is quick to reply to prevent them from annoying the two of you but he knows that is very unlikely. While this could have gone a lot better, finally being able to kiss Jeno and be close to him is probably worth the other’s quizzing and teasing so you could endure. Together.


	12. My Heart Rises Again, a Bit Further This Time

You feel a bit sorry for Johnny because this is everyone's problem and essentially everyone’s fault but he has to take care of it on his own.

“Hey Johnny, wait up! I’ll come with you,” you announce jogging over to where he’s already heading to the car.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to,” he responds amazed at how quick you are to offer your help.

“No, I want to help you,” you insist though and he feels like he could melt on the spot. He can’t exactly pinpoint the emotion but something about your willingness to lend a hand and the kindness that lies in that almost makes him go feral. He has to pause a moment and stop the grin forming on his lips because you’re always doing this and it never fails to make his heart jump.

“Thanks,” he says, silently marvelling about how he loses almost all of his desire to tease you because he actually feels mean when he does it to you. You would just laugh, keep smiling like you always do and he would feel like a villain, knowing you don’t usually bite back.

What he doesn’t know, or doesn’t realise, is that you do return teasing, it’s just never directed at him because he makes you forget every witty thought that crosses your mind. He makes your heart race and your face burn so it’s impossible for you to get back at him. But you’d choose losing your wit over unveiling your crush to him any day.

“This feels like a road trip,” you say later when you’re in the car. This time Johnny doesn’t try to hide his smile when he looks at you in the passenger’s seat and he wishes it was. The two of you alone, the road and nowhere to be. You grin at him like this is pure enjoyment and not a chore and he contemplates bailing on the others for a second but he dismisses the thought because he knows you would never agree, as if it’s the only thing holding him back.

“We should do that sometime,” he muses, eyes fixed on the road.

“We should,” you agree quietly, hoping he’s not going to forget the proposition because you for your part definitely aren’t.

To your disappointment, the next service station isn’t located that far away and fifteen minutes into the adventure you already arrive. It’s not like you actually wanted to get away from everyone, you might just choose Johnny’s company over anyone else’s by a tiny margin.

The sun is already setting when you enter the store, so when you leave after taking longer than is strictly necessary for simply buying water, the world is aflame, the last sunrays plunging everything in orange and showing you what was probably the prettiest sunset you’d ever seen. Truth be told, your emotions might cloud your judgement though, because you couldn’t help goofing around back in the store, trying on sunglasses that are way too small for your heads and doing other cheesy stuff and it made you feel light-headed, almost as if you’re on a date.

Johnny is similarly stunned by the sight so he takes out his camera after putting away the water so he can take photos of the horizon. You lean against the car and watch him. Seeing him be passionate about photography always made your heart swell but this instance made the urge to just go up to him and kiss him mount up and the frustration of not being able to nearly unbearable.

Then he suddenly turns to you, pointing the camera in your direction and you’re surprised to say the least. In your panic you grimace and exaggerate your poses but he takes your picture anyway. Normally immediate regret would set in at this point because the photos would turn out ridiculous but the fact that Johnny deemed the scene worthy of wasting his film over makes your heart ache and soothes it at the same time. When he keeps taking photos after you stopped posing you break into a huge smile which you try to hide but he’s quick to voice his protest.

“Stop that!” he scolds, laughing.

“You stop first!” you pout in return, hands now completely covering your face.

“Okay okay,” he’s still laughing and it’s so kitschy but it’s perfect. You open a slit between your fingers to peek at him and he grins widely but he’s a liar because he still has his finger on the release so you hide again. In your peripheral vision you can see his arm to your left and for a moment time stands still but he’s just putting the camera on the roof of the car and you are about to relax again before you feel two hands grabbing your wrists.

“Don’t do that,” he implores in a soft voice and you don’t think you’ve ever heard him talk like that. It makes you weak in the knees and your hands shaky. You don’t resist when he moves your hands away from your face and he knows he brought it upon himself but he’s not prepared for the way you look up at him. He bites his lip like he does sometimes but seeing it up close with his eyes fixed on you spreads goosebumps all over your skin and this is everything you ever wanted, you think. When he leans down to connect your lips you think it’s even more.

When he pulls back you’re glad you get to breathe again and open your eyes and connect to reality but the relief is immediately followed by the longing to kiss him again. He’s still holding your wrists but lets his hands slide up to cup yours and the smoothness of it all sends your heart running, leaping and toppling while he looks down at you so intensely your knees might give in because of his gaze alone.

You want to tell him to do it again, to never stop doing it but you’re in no state to talk right now. Instead, you stand on your tiptoes and close the remaining distance to finally feel his lips again and he lets go of your hands to hold your face and suddenly he’s kissing you, as if to show you something, prove a point and you don’t get it but you still agree. You could never grow tired of it, you think and ask yourself if you’ve ever felt more alive than you do right now.  
“We should probably head back,” you whisper breathlessly after leaning back and he hums in agreement but pulls you in again. Despite your words there’s no trace of protest from you and he smiles because you’re just as crazy about him as he is about you.

“Johnny,” you breathe out between kisses and to him the way his name rolls off your tongue sounds like you’re in love with him. Who knows you might be, and he might even return the feeling.

“Let’s go,” he says when he pulls back. You miss him already even though he’s right in front of you. When he puts a strand of hair behind your ear your heart turns into mush and when he gives you peck on the lips one last time it lingers longer than he intends but he just can’t help it.


	13. I Think My Heart Is About to Burst

Later when the three of you finally get to rest and lie in your tent you somehow can’t fall asleep and it’s frustrating because you’re so tired. After what feels like hours but is probably close to one you still squirm, roll over from one side to the other, try uncovering your body from your sleeping bag or resting your arms in different ways, careful not to bump into Mark next to you. Trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in the confined space you had to share with Mark and Doyoung poses to be more difficult than you expected. Of course, out of all tents you end up with the small one you set up together earlier.

When you hear the sudden rustling sound of another sleeping bag you freeze at the realisation that your tent mates might not be as deep in slumber as you initially thought.

“Are you okay?” Mark asks in a hushed voice and you’re relieved it’s not Doyoung because he holds the worst grudges and you're not really keen on directing his disdain at you.

“Yeah, just trouble falling asleep I guess,” you answer vaguely because that much is obvious and you don’t even know what’s going on with you anyways. He hums in what feels like apprehension and you turn around to face him. You did not, in fact, expect him to be this close though, worried eyes staring at you from maybe a palm’s length away. Your breath gets stuck in your throat and you don’t dare to move a single muscle in your body.

“We really drew the short straw with this tent,” he agrees and gives you a tired but empathetic look. You wouldn’t admit it but this particular expression paired with the proximity and the fact that you can actually feel his warm breath fan across your skin, makes your heart flutter in ways it probably shouldn’t.

“Hold on, I’ll move so you have a bit more space,” he offers but you are quick to lay your hand on his shoulder, stopping him from squeezing any closer to Doyoung who might wake up because of it. You have trouble processing how he’s trying to make this more bearable for you like the kind, precious soul he is when there’s literally nothing in it for him. You’re screaming in your head because he’s so sweet and because your hand is still on his shoulder.

“No it’s fine! I mean we don’t wanna wake up sleeping beauty over there, right?” you whisper and in hindsight this is probably the single most stupid thing you could have possibly said. Despite the instant regret about your poor attempt at joking he bestows you the most beautiful little chuckle and you’re sure you are willing to make a fool out of yourself any time just to elicit that sweet ring again. Your fingers are still gripping weakly at his shoulder and your mind is racing at a dizzying speed.

“Yeah, hyung can be pretty crabby when you wake him up,” he adds, still chuckling quietly.

“Thought so,” you speak under your breath, sheepishly and moments pass where the two of you just look at each other in the semidarkness, the force that pulls you in rising with every second.

You’d like to think that he moves in first but in all honesty you have no idea but you don’t really care either way because when your lips meet every coherent thought you could have mustered up is gone for good. Your senses are flooded with Mark, his lips on yours, his scent, his heat, his everything. You think you might pass out when he adds a hand on the side of your face.

The two of you part when you run out of breath, chests heaving when you drown in his appearance and he drowns in yours, his thumb is mindlessly caressing your cheek and you break out into a big smile you don’t have the capacity to hide.

He leans in and this time you know he does it first but it doesn't matter because you meet him halfway, anyway. You’re almost embarrassed but there’s no time for that. When his lips feel so good against yours it’s all you can think about. You move your hand from his shoulder to his waist and you’re not necessarily aware of it but try to pull him closer. To your surprise he complies to your silent plea by moving in closer and your bodies are almost touching but not quite and it drives you crazy.

When you part again he giggles quietly and it’s infectious but you try to keep quiet so Doyoung won’t wake up. You try to hide your face in the pillow because you feel like the smile on your face looks stupid but he puts a strand of hair behind your ear and procees to stroke the side of your face. You have trouble believing Mark could do something so soft so intimate to you of all people and it makes you happy, fills you with joy to the point where your heart is about to burst. All because of him.


End file.
